


Inhale the future and exhale the past

by Kalah



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-12 21:25:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 8,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7949692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalah/pseuds/Kalah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little story of how all the Stark children are in love but too afraid to admit it while each one is carrying their own burden.</p><p>Set after the series. <br/>Jon is King in the North and Bran the Lord of Winterfell.</p><p> </p><p>I am not the best writer and the story is a bit cheesy but I hope you enjoy it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Bran is observing his sisters and cousin- how strange it sounds, even after he had some time getting used to the fact, that his big brother Jon is truly the son of his aunt Lyanna.

Nearly a year has gone by since the war has ended and the Stark children are together again at last.

But they all have changed.

Sansa is not the naive young girl any more, dreaming of heroes and happy endings. She has seen the reality that sometimes the knights are the real monsters. She is not dreaming any more. “She does _not allow_ herself to dream.” Bran thinks.

And then there is Arya. She seems hollow and broken. When she first returned to Winterfell she told them about her kill list. The people who had to feel Needle cutting through their heart. She was full of vengeance when she started her journey but now there is no real reason for her to live on, so she thinks.

Bran catches a glimpse of the gray eyes of his brother-turned-cousin. Such a sadness can be found in them, even when he smiles.

He is now the King in the North, not a bastard anymore. However he does not feel liberated. It is still a burden for him. Especially since he discovered the truth of his parentage. A war started over his parents, over him. He believes that he is the reason the people he loves died and suffered.

“But that's not true.” Bran knows. “And he is a caring and just king, rebuilding the north like no one else could.”

Bran sighs. He wants to help them but he sees no way. They have to allow their wounds to heal and accept the past so they can look into the future.

 

Bran is tired. Every day his main activity is to care for the rebuilding of Winterfell. How is it to be done? How much workers and resources does it require? How long will it take until the entire castle will be whole again?

“Maybe a part of it will forever be broken. Like me.”

 

“You seem tired, my lord, is there anything I can do for you? Should I tell the servants to prepare a bath? You need to rest.” A soft voice pulls him out of his thoughts.

“What? Oh no. I am alright, Meera. I can take care of it myself, _my lady_.” He replies sharply. With all his strength he keeps his eyes straight, resisting the urge to look at her. “Please just go away.” He silently pleads.

“As you wish, my lord.” Her tone suddenly as cold as ice.

He feels her moving away from his side. From the corner of his eyes he sees her silhouette vanishing outside.

In the same second Arya is at his left. “That went well, I see.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Why are you being so cold around her? Don't you see how that makes her feel? It is unbearable. You should be ashamed!” Arya is very determined when it comes to tormenting her brother.

“I don't want to talk about her right now, can't you just leave it be. You tease me about it nearly every day.”

“That's just because _every day_ you behave like a little boy instead of the Lord of Winterfell when it comes to her.”

“I am behaving exactly as is expected from a lord.”

“Oh, my sweet summer child, you are beyond help.” With that she stands up and leaves in the same direction as Meera did merely minutes ago.


	2. Chapter 2

Arya is in the training yard practicing her dancing.   
It has become her routine to stand up while all of Winterfell is still asleep.   
The past continues to haunt her. Especially in her dreams. She sees the many eyes she has shut forever, staring at her. She also sees her father and mother, Robb and Rickon die over and over again. But there is no revenge left in her body, only resignation.  
Out here in the dark she is no one again. She is neither a boy or a girl, simply a sword, not a princess or a lady. She can let go of everything.

There is only one thing that can bring her back, that keeps her alive.

She sees the fire lit in the forge and soon afterwards the steady sound of a hammer on steel soothes her as Winterfell awakes with it.

 

Her routine also includes daily visiting the smith.

He greets her with a bright smile. “Mornig, Arry...I mean of course, m'lady.” He bows slightly.

“Shut up, stupid bull.” She says with a smirk.


	3. Chapter 3

“...and there are again reports of conflicts between the wildlings and- your Grace, is something the matter. Shall we continue another time?” Davos Seaworth looks concerned.

“Yes, Ser Davos. The last days have been so stressful. It is impossible to concentrate.”   
Jon is relieved. 

Jon uses the time off to walk into the godswood. It is pieceful here. He feels a strange old power rising inside of him.   
He arrives at the weirwood tree and is surprised to see Sansa.  
She is sitting in the same spot Ned Stark used to while cleaning his sword.

As soon as she sees him, her hand rushes to her eyes trying to wipe the tears away.

“Sansa, you-.”

“Jon, I did no expect to see you here at this hour.”

“I needed some time to regain strength. All I have been doing theses last days is to work. Do you come hear often?”

“Every day. It is the spot where father-”  
She cannot continue. She begins to weep, heavy and uncontrollable.   
Jon rushes to her side, laying his arms around her.

“Everything will be alright.” He whispers in her ear.

She pulls away from him.

“No, nothing will be alright. It, it is my fault that father is dead, that Lady... I was such a stupid girl. I hate myself for it.”

“Sansa, you must not say-”

“No, Jon, it is the truth. When I was little, all I wanted was to marry a prince and live in the south and have my own fairy tale. I did not want to be a Stark. But when I was in the south all I wanted was to be home. At Winterfell. All I want is that my family is here again. But because of me that is not possible. I can not forgive myself.”

“We all made mistakes....We are here for you. Arya, Bran and me. You can be happy again...The great war is over.”  
He notices exactly how stupid his words sound. What was he thinking? Is he even thinking at all? No. All he can see is her, in pieces and crying.

“Yes, this one war is over, but man himself has not changed. There are still bad people out there and war might come again any time. No one is safe.”

“But I...we are here to protect you. We have each other. The pack survives.”

He embraces her again and she does not pull away.

Gently he caresses her long hair. Under his movements he notices that her weeping begins to fade.  
She nestles herself up against his shoulder and it is like the world around them stops to exist.


	4. Chapter 4

Nothing puts her mind at ease like his arms around her. He is so strong and gentle at the same time. And he cares so much about her that sometimes Sansa thinks her heart has to explode.

She startles. This is Jon Snow she is thinking about. This is Jon Snow holding her like she is the most precious thing in the world.

This can not happen. This must not happen.

 

She frees herself and turns away from him.

 

“I...I, Jon, I...have to go.”

 

Sansa is confused. For a moment she felt like her younger self again and Jon had been her hero.

Can it be true?

 

She freezes as she hears him shouting. She begins to run. She has to get away from here. From all of this.

 

She arrives in the training yard, stops in a small corner to rest and closes her eyes.

These feelings. She felt them before. Every time Jon looked at her. With an expression she could not classify. Sometimes she even found herself looking at him hoping that nobody would notice.

What is the matter with her?

 

“Oh no.” She thinks because at the same time Jon comes running into the yard, a puzzled expression. And clearly searching for someone. For her. He sees him talking to Meera who has just started her training. Obviously he is asking about Sansa.

 

She has to go.

So as quiet as possible she sneaks along the corner. She is still looking at Jon as she bumps into a hurrying Arya coming along the way.

 

“Ouch, Sansa!”

“Hush, be quiet.”

 

“You are weird, even weirder as normally.”

 

“Thank you, but I have to go really quick. He is coming.”

 

Sansa runs away back into the castle and up into her chambers.

 

 

A few moments later she hears a knock on her door.

 

“It's him. I can not face him. What should I say? I grew up as your sister, now you are my cousin and now I feelings for you that are even more confusing?”

 

“I know you are in there, come on.”

 

It is not his deep voice on the other side of the door.

 

The door opens and Arya enters the room.

“That was quite a show down there. Jon's been searching the whole castle. But it is quite obvious you don't want to be found. So I offered to search your chamber. I want to know the truth why you are hiding. Otherwise I'll tell him where to find you.”

 

“Arya!” She squeaks. “It is none of your business!”

 

“I understand. JO-”

 

“No, stop. I will tell you. But you have to promise to keep it a secret. And on no account can Bran ever hear of it, you understand?” Arya nods.

“Lately I have such a strange feeling...and a moment ago in the godswood...and surely he now wants to talk about it...he will resent me.” She gestures wildly as she is walking to and fro her room.

“...and what would father think of me...and mother!”

Sansa's eyes widen.

“Arya, you have to promise me to never ever tell anyone?”

 

“To tell what? From what you said nobody could conclude what you meant. On the other hand from what I observed it is clear: You are in love with Jon.”

Sansa's face freezes in shock.

 

Arya can't restrain herself from laughing anymore.

“Ew, it is the first time I said it out loud and it sounds so...ew. My sister and my brother...” She grimaces with pain but is continuing to laugh.

“But I will not stand in the way of true love.” She says poetically.

 

“I won't tell him you are here, Sansa. And don't panic. Everything will be alright. By the way I won't tell Bran about it. He probably already figured it out by himself.” With that she leaves a confused Sansa in her room.

 

“No, no, no. I swore to myself I would  never fall in that trap again.”

 

"It is too late." A voice in her head says. "You are already _in love_."

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Bran sits in his solar fussing over some plans of Winterfell as he hears giggling outside the door.

He recognizes Arya.

It is a good to hear her laughing again.

 

But he himself has no time to delay.

These plans need to be finished in the morrow.

 

But he is interrupted by another giggle. A heart warming sound.

 

“Concentrate, Bran.” He says to himself.

 

It does not help. His eyes wander outside the window. He beholds Meera being convulsed with laughter.

 

From his solar he can look directly into the yard. And there she is now. Clearly she was practicing with the bow when Arya arrived with some important news because the two women stand together talking and gesturing expressively. He wonders what they are talking about.

 

~~~~~

_Nearly one hour ago_

 

Meera is standing still, her eyes on her target, as she discovers Jon Snow, storming into yard with a desperate expression.

 

“Your Grace, can I be of any help?”

“Sansa...” He breathes heavily. He must have been running here, Meera concludes.

“Lady Reed, have you seen Sansa...I mean, Lady Stark?”

“No, your Grace. I just arrives here a few seconds ago. I haven't seen her.”

 

Without hesitation Jon hurries forward to the forge where Gendry is working.

 

“Gendry, have you seen Lady Stark?”

“Yes, m'lord, she ran that way.”

He points with his fingers to the corner where Sansa is hiding.

 

“Thank you, Gendry.”

 

Meera wondered what urgent business Jon had with Sansa...

 

“Arya,” She heard him saying behind her back. “Has Sansa come this way?”

“Why yes. She ran into me. She has been so _weird_ lately, Jon.”

“That is exactly why I need to talk to her.”

“If you want, I can go to her chambers and see if she is there.”

"Thank you, Arya."

With that the two of vanish in different direction and leave Meera alone in the yard.

 

After a few rounds of archery Meera hears someone coming down the stairs.

 

“I am so sorry I am late. I had a little family crisis to handle.” Arya says through giggles.

“If I didn't know better I'd guess Sansa and Jon finally realized they are in love and are now freaking out.” Meera answers teasing.

Arya stops and her jaw drops.

 

“So it is true?”

 

Arya nods in confirmation.

 


	6. Chapter 6

So she isn't the only one who noticed a slight change in Jon and Sansa's relationship. Arya smiles to herself.

 

Meera and her are now training together. Meera wanted to learn the water dance and found a willing teacher in Arya, who is glad to have an occupation.

 

Arya has grown used to the crannogwoman, who, like herself, is not what one could call a typical lady.

 

“Have you spoken to Bran lately?”

“No.” Meera answers grumpily.

 

Arya knows about Meera's feeling for her brother. And it hurts her to see her friend suffering.

“He is an idiot.”

“It is not that easy. He has so many responsibilities. He thinks he has to prove that he is capable of carrying them all alone. He wants to prove that he is strong.”

That's what Meera said every time. 

“He is stupid if he turns you down this way.”

“Speaking of stupid.” Meera gladly changes the topic. “I hear there is a special stupid you like. Or should I say a stupid bull.”

 

Arya's face turns red immediately.

 

She is speechless.

She can't think of anything to object.

Because Meera is right.

 

~~~~~

 

The first time that she has seen Gendry Waters after all these years, she had been on her way home north.

It was in the Riverlands that she ran into the Brotherhood without Banners again.

First she couldn't believe it. There he was. Much grown but still the same...

“...Stupid bull.” She screamed, ran towards him and hit him.

“How could you. How could you leave me. You...stupid, stupid bull.”

 

~~~~~

Gendry didn't even appear to be surprised at her attack.

 

He knew her. He knew it had been wrong to leave her so he did not expect anything else from her. He would have been more astonished if she had thrown herself into his arms (Although he would not have objected).

 

So he endured it and said “It is good to see you again,too, _m'lady_.”

He had caught another slap from her for that.

 

This time, he promised, he would not abandon her.

 

So he left the brotherhood and traveled with her to Winterfell, where her brother had offered him the job as the smith and he had gladly accepted.

 

~~~~~

 

From the corner of his eye, Gendry can see Arya turn red.

 

He has to watch her for a few more seconds. She is no more little Arry, but a woman grown. "Beautiful." He thinks while the color of his face probably matches hers at the moment.

He can still see her scars. Not outwardly but she has told him enough for him to know what she endured. On her travels with the Hound, in Braavos, her way back home.

But Gendry loves every bit of her.

 

He must not think about her that way. She is still a lady, a princess. He, although a _well respected_ smith, still a smith. And a bastard.

"But a bastard had also become King in the North."

 

Maybe there is still hope...

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

The rest of the day Jon is not able to think of anything but Sansa.  
Why did she ran away? Was she afraid? Of him? Maybe she sensed that his feelings weren't entirely, alas, not at all brotherly.

He was afraid, too.   
Afraid of his feelings towards her and what it might do to their relationship.

 

In the evening he searches for her in the hall but there is no sign of her.  
“Is Sansa feeling unwell?” He asks Bran and tries to make himself sound like a concerned brother.  
He does not succeed.  
“Why, do you know something? She let her maid announce that she does not find herself capable of dining with us tonight. That was all she said. I imagine something disturbing happened to her. I heard her run towards her chamber in the afternoon. She seemed stressed.”

Jon looks into Bran's eyes and wonders how much he knows about the incident in the woods. 

“I hope she will be better in the morning.” He says, whilst thinking that he is the disturbance. He brought her distress. 

He is angry at himself. So many people suffered because of him. And now Sansa. Who went through enough already. 

He has to talk to her. She has to know that he will not endanger her or mistreat her.

Maybe he just misreads his feelings and it was all a misunderstanding. Maybe there is nothing between them. Maybe-

You know nothing, Jon Snow.


	8. Chapter 8

Bran worries for his sister.

She hasn't left her room for three days and lets no one near her except her maid. One time the maester visited her on Bran's orders but he confirmed that she wasn't physically ill.

But something else troubled her.

 

For one second the weirwood tree crosses his mind. But he shakes it off. He does not want to spy on her. So he instructs the guard to carry him to his sister's room.

He knock and hears a hushed voice. “Who is it?”

“It is me, Bran. Can I come in?”

To his surprise the door opens. The guard places him on a chair by the fire and leaves.

 

“Oh Bran, I am so sorry.”

“You do not have to apologize, Sansa. Just, would you tell me what is troubling you?”

“Lately, I have been feeling odd. About, about Jon.” His name sounds like a whisper.

 

“I assumed that. He is acting strange, too. He is even broodier than before, what in my opinion seemed impossible.”

That brings a little giggle out of Sansa.

 

“Why don't you two just talk about it?”

“I am so scared. I don't want these feelings.” Sansa replies aroused. “Nothing good ever came from it. I was a stupid little girl when I dreamed of heroes saving me and all this stuff. I cannot allow myself to go back there. This isn't real.”

“This is not some far away prince or someone from Old Nan's stories. This is Jon. You know him.”

“And.” He adds after a little pause. “He _did_ save you.”

 

He knows it is the truth. Bran sees the change in his sister's face.

Jon helped her when she was fleeing from this awful Ramsay. He gave her her home back. Bran also knew that behind her strong facade she had been utterly hurt and scarred.

Bran observs how Jon seems to get behind this facade. He comforts her in a way Arya and he couldn't.

 

Tears stream down Sansa's cheeks.

“Sansa.” He gestures her to come over to him and takes her into his arms.

 

“You are right, Bran. Oh, I am so afraid.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

Jon clears his throat. “You wanted to see me, Sansa?”

 

She turns around, a forced smile on her lips.

Not knowing what to do he takes a step in her direction but stops noticing her hollow expression.

These last days have been exhausting for her. He can see it in her eyes.

 

“I am very glad to see you. Ever since the godswood I-”

“That is what I wanted to talk about.” She interrupts him. “I want to explain myself. Please sit down.”

 

Jon takes a seat at the window.

 

“I ran away because I was afraid.”

“You don't have to be afraid of me. I swore to protect you.”

 

“I was afraid of _myself_. My feelings for you have changed ever since I saw you again at Castle Black. Before you were my _half-_ brother and I despised you. Oh, I was so awful. But then I had nowhere else to go. And you, you saved me.” She pauses.

“I didn't want to admit it at first. But you saved me and when I heard you were my cousin I felt relieved but didn't know why. But now I know, Jon. I...I...am in...love with you.”

 

“No, please say nothing.” She says as he lifts his voice. “In the godswood you comforted me and I felt at home. But I was so scared because I didn't want to be a little naive girl anymore. I told myself over and over again that my dreams can't come true. That there are no heroes. That I only end up hurting people. But I cannot escape those feelings. I tried but I can't. I understand if you need some time to think about it. I don't want our relationship harmed.”

 

“Sansa, I...” _I love you, too,_ he thinks, instead he says. “I need some time to reflect. I will talk to you again tomorrow?”

She nods silently and looks at her hands.

“Please don't resent me, Jon.”

“I could never- I wish you a good night, my lady.”

He restrains himself from taking her hands and bids her farewell.

 

What was he thinking? She opens her heart to him. She tells him that she loves him. What does he do? He runs away like a coward.

 

 _Kill the boy and let the man be born._ That's what he always tells himself. But now? He feels like a foolish boy again.

 

His initial urge is to run back to her. To hold and kiss her for the rest of his life.

 

There is still something holding him back.

He remembers the last time a Targaryen courted a Stark girl.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Regularly she has nightmares. She is standing outside the Twins during the red wedding or in the house of Black and White. Sometimes she dreams of her family. And every time she wakes up drenched in sweat and afraid of the darkness.

 

The dream is especially brutal tonight. Arya awakes. She trembles, scared to death. _Fear cuts deeper than swords._ She feels a strong need of company, to not be alone.

She gets up and automatically her feet lead her to the place she longs for the most.

 

Arya hesitates before entering the forge. Recently she found herself spending much more time in the forge than usual. Most of the time she is watching Gendry quietly. It qualms her down. _He_ qualms her down. It reminds her of their traveling together. Before she entered the house of Black and White. Before she became no one.

“A girl is not no one.” She says to herself. “A girl is Arya Stark of Winterfell.”

Once she said the names of her enemies over and over again, full of revenge. Now it is her own name she has to recall.

 

She trespasses the chambers adjacent the forge and finds a sleeping Gendry.

 

“Gendry.” She whispers.

“Arya.” He murmurs still asleep.

She shakes him until he wakes up.

“Arya! What are you doing here? It is the middle of the night. What if somebody saw you. Your brother will kill me!”

He is outraged.

“I had a nightmare and...” She feels stupid. Why did she even come here in the first place?

His expression softens.

“Arry.”

 

“Could I sleep here tonight? I cannot be alone right now.”

He notices her affliction.

“The very fact that you visit me at this time could cost me my head.”

“Please.” She regathers her remaining strength. “I won't leave.”

 

Gendry realizes that he has lost and makes room for her.

Arya feels his warmth and his presence is enough for her to calm down.

 

However as she closes her eyes the threatening images of her dream come to mind.

She can't help but begin to cry. She hates herself for being so weak.

 

In the next moment she senses his arms around her. She does not fight him but sinks into his embrace.

 

~~~~~

 

Gendry knows it is wrong. He should not have let her sleep in his bed. But she looked so vulnerable and he knew it must have cost her quite an effort to come here in the first place.

 

At first he trys to leave space between them but then he hears her sobbing.

He reaches for her and she does not resist.

 

He does not stop to hold her, even as they both fall asleep.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Arya awakes to a rumbling sound.

 

“Arya!? What are you doing here? Get up! NOW!”

 

They must have overslept. The sun is already high in the sky and the craftsmen busy doing their work.

 

“Jon, it's not what it looks like...”

“Gendry, I trusted you. I gave you work as a smith and now you are dishonoring my little sister?”

“Your Grace...” Gendry stutters deeply emberassed. “I...would...never...!”

 

Arya stands up furiously. “Last night I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to be alone and Gendry let me sleep here, okay? I persuaded him to do so. He was against it.”

“I...I was, your Grace.” Gendry says affirmative.

 

Jon remains silent for a few seconds. “Well, for now you don't have to fear any punishment and I won't tell anybody. But this was the first and last time, you understand?”

Gendry nods relieved. Arya is still angry. “You can't tell me what I am allowed to do and what not. Why did you even come here?”

“Eh? Right. Gendry, I need you to have a look at Longclaw and you, Arya, we'll talk later.”

 

~~~~~

 

In the afternoon, Arya enters the king's solar.

 

Jon already awaits her. “I am glad that you have come. I want to speak to you about Gendry.”

“Nothing happened.” Arya protests.

“But can you promise that nothing will happen in the future?”

Arya is surprised. “What do you mean?”

“I have heard several rumors from the servants. About the wild wolf and the smith. I hear you spend a lot of time in the forge?”

“Yes, he is my _friend_. And he is very aware of our different ranks in society. He would never allow-” Jon looks at her. She is shaking. And is this a tear on her face? Angrily she raises her hand only to sense more tears coming down her cheeks.

 

“Do you like him?” Jon asks cautiously.

“He is a stupid bull!” But Arya knows this means “yes”.

 

“You know, that in case he has the same feelings for you I won't be able to condone such a connection?”

“I don't want to marry him, Jon!”

“You always say that but is it really the truth?”

“I, I don't know.” Arya is appalled by her own feelings. Her whole life she did not want to marry, she wanted to be free and go off and see the world. But now she has done these things and it has torn her apart.

“All will be well, little sister.” Jon messes her hair like he used to when they were children.

 

 

“I wanted to talk to you about something else, _someone_ to be clear.”

 

Arya has an idea who this someone might be.

 

“It is Sansa.” Jon says. “You must have noticed that Sansa and I...”

“...are in love? The whole castle has noticed it!”

 

Jon frowns but ignores her comment. “Shortly she has told me about how she feels. And I didn't know what to say, only that I would think about it and I would tell her after a few days.”

  
“How long ago did you speak?”

“Two weeks and I still don't know what to do.”

“You two are even worse than I expected. Why don't you just tell her you love her, too?”

 

“I don't want to be like my father.”

“Oh, come on. You must not compare your situation to his. Aunt Lyanna was betrothed and Rhaegar married. It's not like Bran would storm off into the _next chamber_ and declare war or something like that. Quite the contrary I would hunt you down in your sleep if you don't get up and tell her how you feel. I think you are just scared to let something good happen to you once in a while.”

“Be careful what you say, Arya. There are certainly hundreds of young lords who would take your hand in marriage in a second. I could send the ravens out in a minute.”

“You wouldn't!”

“We could find out!”

“Then I would take Sansa with me! To protect her from such a blockhead like you!”

 

They both stare at each other.

“You wouldn't.” Jon finally says.

“I would.” Arya answers. “But none of this has to happen if you go to her and tell her you love her back.” She knows he is defeated.

 

“I have to, don't I?” Jon says with remorse.

“And pretty soon. She is in the godswood now.” Arya suggests.

 

“Wish me luck.”

 


	12. Chapter 12

Two weeks. It has been two weeks and he studiously avoids her.

Perhaps it is better this way. What did she expect? That he would declare his undying love for her and they would live happily ever after? She shakes her head, embarrassed about herself.

She closes her eyes and sighs.

As she opens them again she is startled by the dark figure in front of her.

 

“Jon-”

“I have made up my mind, Sansa.” He is figuring out what to say.

“I was scared, so I didn't have the courage to tell you a fortnight ago, that I love you.” He looks relieved. “Somehow had this stupid idea in my head that it would destroy our family. That I would be like my father. I didn't want to hurt you.”

 

Sansa stands up, approaching him. Her whole body is shaking. Immediately Jon is at her side holding her face in his hands.

“I won't let you down, Sansa. I vow to protect you from this day until my last day. I will love you with all my heart, my soul and strength. Will you be my queen, Sansa?”

 

She wants to say something but is unable to. An indescribable joy infiltrates her stomach.

And in the next moment she feels his lips on hers as he is lifting her up and spins her around.

After what seems like eternity they detach themselves from one another.

To Sansa's surprise it does not feel like she dreamed it would be.

The reality is a thousand times better.

 


	13. Chapter 13

In honor of the king's betrothal to the Lady of Winterfell there is a banquet to be held. Lords from all over the North, including her father, Howland Reed, are present and soon the great hall is filled with laughter, music and the sweet smell of lemoncakes.

 

Meera is sitting next to a moping Arya.

“What is the matter? You have to celebrate! After all it is thanks to you they finally got the courage to confess their love for each other.”

“Not entirely. I merely gave them a little push. Do you see all these fine young Lords staring at me?”

Meera already noticed.

“I think Sansa wants to use this evening for a little match making. She forced me to wear a gown, for heaven's sake!”

“One evening won't kill you! But you are right. Some of these men are creepy.”

When they arrived one of them was a bit too friendly to Meera, so she returned the favor. With a nice hit in the crotch.

 

Her eyes wander through the room and rest on the person sitting next to Sansa.

A confusing amount of sentiments rushes through her body.

She tries to figure out what is going through his head.

 

Her thoughts are interrupted by the king's voice who is now standing, holding a goblet of wine.

“My lords, my ladys. I thank you all for your coming. This night is devoted to honor the woman who stole my heart.”

Women all over the room sigh. “Ew.” Arya utters.

“Would you raise your glass with me. To Lady Stark, the future Queen in the North.”

“The Queen in the North.” The whole hall echoes and Sansa blushes.

 

Meera smiles but can't shake off the emotion of jealousy. Her gaze once again rests on the one responsible for her unease.

Bran carries on a conversation with Davos.

 

Meera can't endure it any more. Bran's been ignoring her for a month now. Whenever she wants to talk with him, he says that he is too busy or needs to rest.

She does not understand it. When they were still north of the Wall they grew closer... Although they have never discussed it she is certain their feelings are mutual. That he loves her, too.

But ever since they got back to Winterfell Bran distanced himself from her.

 

Davos rises and Meera seizes the opportunity. During the feast he cannot simply excuse himself and leave.

 

She murmurs a few things to Arya and takes the free seat next to Bran. “I see you are enjoying the celebration.”

He does not turn his head. “I am very glad about it. They deserve to be happy.”

 

Meera follows his gaze. Jon and Sansa whisper to each other while Jon gently caresses her hair. Sansa is literally glowing.

 

“They are very fortunate to have each other.” Meera remarks, again looking at Bran. “You seldom find that kind of connection with another person.”

Still no reaction from Bran.

 

“Bran, look at me!” She takes his hand that is resting on the table.

Bran looks at her hands, still avoiding her face.

 

In the background she hears the musicians playing a dancing tune and soon many couples are dancing in the middle of the hall.

She sees Jon leading his betrothed to the center of the crowd.

 

“Do you never wish to marry yourself?” She asks Bran in a hushed voice.

To her surprise he turns his head and looks into her eyes. “I do not wish for someone to carry my burden. To commit herself to a man _broken_.”

“You are not broken. No matter how often you try to convince yourself. You are not broken.” She is angry at him.

 

He breaks their eye contact.

“Why are you ignoring me, Bran? You know that you can count on me. I can help yo-”

“I am in no need of help.” His voice is harsh and he withdraws his hand. “I am very capable of handling my own problems.”

 

Meera loses her patience.

She does not want to draw the attention of the other guests to their conversation. So she speaks as quiet as her anger allows it.

“Bran, do you ever think about how I feel? You are not the only one who is hurt! Why do you think I stayed in Winterfell for so long? I could have returned home anytime and leave you here because you obviously don't need me or care for me. But I stayed because I care about you and I need you. You think you have to prove everybody how strong you are and how you can master every situation alone. But I have already seen it. You survived the wilderness, the war. You returned home to rebuild Winterfell and the North.

You are so stubborn! I stayed here and waited for you to swallow your pride. Enough is enough! I will tell my father that I will return home next week.”

Still. No reaction from Bran.

“He has received many requests for my hand in marriage and maybe I'll find someone who isn't as blind as you and respects me and treats me well.” She adds intentionally and he cringes.

“I will depart in seven days. If you have anything to say to me during this time I will listen but don't think you still have a chance afterwards.”

She storms out of the hall and stumbles into the dark night.

 


	14. Chapter 14

Arya notices Bran and Meera talking. She also notices how Meera becomes more and more angry and finally gets up and runs away. Arya trys to figure out her brother's expression. A mixture of desperation and longing is reflecting his face.

So Meera ultimately stood up to him. She has to find her and see if she is doing alright.

 

She is cursing her dress as she trips over its train on the staircase.

 

Arya looks into the dark yard but is unable to find Meera.

Suddenly she hears a sound coming from the training yard.

She discovers Meera with one sword in hand hammering at a wooden pillar.

 

“You were right about your brother. He is an idiot. And I defended him! Apparently he does not need my protection. I am so mad at him!”

 

Arya remains silent.

 

“First thing in the morning I will inform my father that I will return home with him.”

“Are you leaving for good?”

“I haven't figured it out yet. Maybe Bran will come to his senses if he thinks that I am gone forever.”

“You still have hope?”

 

“Of course. Although he is behaving like an _idiot_ , I know deep down he is different. I know him. We went through so much together, I won't throw that away because of his momentarily stupidity. There is always a reason to have hope.” After one final blow she drops the sword. “Let's go back inside, surely the others must start to wonder where we are.”

“Go ahead. I will be joining you soon.”

 

Meera's words make her think about Gendry. He is still working in the forge when she finds him.

 

“Hey stupid.”

“Hello Arry.” He looks up and remarks her dress. “I certainly should call you m'lady tonight. You look like a proper lady all dressed up. Are those ribbons in your hair?” He exclaims with a smirk.

 

“Sansa forced me.” She defends herself from his teasing. “With all the noblemen coming...”

 

“And have you found someone yet?” He asks sarcastically.

“I wasn't even looking! I will never marry!”

 

Gendry shrugs. He continues in a more softer tone.

“How have you been doing lately? I mean, did you have nightmares again?”

 

“Some nights have been like hell. The dreams themselves aren't the worst part. It is the fear that comes with them. I never thought I would be so, so weak.“

“Do not condemn yourself. War changes people. You have experienced things no girl should be forced to face. But you survived. To be strong or brave does not mean you will never fear again. It is how you you act while you are afraid that shows your true character. I've known you for so long. Trust me, Arya, you don't have to be ashamed of yourself. You are beautiful, inwardly and outwardly.”

Having said that Gendry turns red and dedicates himself to his work again as if it's the most interesting thing in the world.

 

“You really think I am beautiful?” Arya asks reluctantly.

He is annoyed. “I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it, would I?”

 

No, he is honest with her at all times. So she has to be honest with him, too.

 

Without hesitation she walks towards him and forces him to drop his work.

And then she kisses him, shyly at first but then more passionate as he gives in to her and she swings her arms around his neck.

 

“Arya, we can't do this!” He forces her to let go of him. “I wish it was different, but you are highborn and I am a bastard smith. It is impossible.”

 

“Jon is a bastard, too, and he became King in the North!”

“Yes, but he is the bastard of a great noble house, two to be precise. I am lowborn. You saw Jon's reaction that night. He would kill me before I could even look at you.”

“I don't care what Jon thinks.”

Arya is desperate. “We could run away together.”

 

“Are you serious? You want to live in the wilderness or as a lowborn constantly afraid that somebody finds out about who we really are?”

“If we could be together without anyone judging us, yes! You promised you wouldn't leave me again!”

He sighs. “Arya-”

 

“No! I still mean it. I can be your family!” _I love you, bullhead!_

 

“But you are still _m'lady_.” He replies sadly.  _I love you, too._

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

Bran is on the verge of despair. Meera told him what a huge fool he has been.

And she was right.

To protect himself from his feelings he treated her very, very badly. He is surprised that she endured it that long.

He has to stop her from leaving. He has to face his feelings for her. He has to swallow his pride.

But how?

An idea crosses his mind but he needs help from Sansa.

 

He finds her in her solar, sowing.

 

“Bran!” She expresses delighted. “How do you like my dress?”

It is a gray dress with white and blue stitching, Bran discovers a direwolf and a dragon, intertwined by blue winter roses.

“It is beautiful. Jon will like it.”

Sansa looks pleased with herself.

 

“I know you have a lot to do at the moment. But could you do me a favor? It's about Meera.”

 

“Is it about her departing for Greywater Watch in a few days? You won't let that happen, will you?”

 

“This is why I need your help. Lately, well for a long time now I have ignored her despite my feelings for her. She gave me an ultimatum. She was _very_ clear in saying I wouldn't have a chance anymore after she left.”

 

“Oh Bran, sometimes you are so oblivious to other persons' sentiments. You deserve that she finally stood up to you.”

 

“Thank you, this is really encouraging.” He answers with false gratitude. “More importantly, will you help me?”

 

“Of course. Mainly I do it for _Meera_ so she finally gets treated properly by you.”

Bran does not know how to oppose that.

“But you are my little brother and I want to see you happy, too. So, what task do you have for me?”

 

~~~~~

 

Bran is sitting in his solar watching Arya and Meera practicing their water dance.

 

Both look very tired and soon they quit the practice and go off to a walk in the godswood.

 

He hears a knock on the door and Howland Reed enters. “I was told you wanted to speak to me, Lord Stark?”

 

“Yes, yes. Please come in.”

 

Lord Reed enters the solar with a friendly smile on his face.

Every time Bran sees him he is taken aback by the resemblance he and Jojen share.

“What urgent business causes this meeting?

 

“I hereby ask for your daughter's hand in marriage.”

 

The crannogman looks at him, astonished.

“Well, that is not a trifle. Have you thought it through, my lord?”

“Over and over again. At first there were so many arguments against it in my head. But none ever succeeded my love for your daughter.”

“What life could you offer her?”

“I would daily do everything in my power to make her happy and give her a home where she does not have to care for anything.”

 

Bran hopes that Lord Reed will stop asking him all those question. But his hopes are destroyed when the latter continues.

“You know, my lord, she is now the heir to Greywater watch. How do you think it possible that she becomes the Lady of Winterfell, too? What will become of the Neck?”  
  


“I already concerned myself with this question. My conclusion is that our second born...” Bran blushes as the thought about having children with Meera crosses his mind. “...should inherit it and take on the name of house Reed.”

His counterpart examines him. “Have you spoken to Meera about it? About your plans?”

 

“No, my lord. First I wanted to obtain your approval.”

Howland Reed nods understandingly.

“Do you think you will get hers, _too_?”

“I hope so, with all my heart.” Bran says and realizing what the crannogman said he adds. “So, do I have your affirmation?”

 

“Yes. My friendship with your father was very strong and since we both had children I always played with the thought of joining our houses. And now I am convinced of your honest intentions concerning my daughter. It is all up to her now”

Bran is relieved. “Thank you, my lord.”

 

There is only one thing left that he has to do.

 


	16. Chapter 16

Meera and Arya stroll silently through the woods , a habit they developed during Meera's last week in Winterfell.

Suddenly Meera abandons their usual path and leads Arya to a little clearing where a person nervously walks up and down.

 

“I'll leave you two alone.” Meera says and returns towards the castle.

 

Now it is just her and Gendry.

None of them wants to talk first. She still has not forgiven him for rejecting her. Again.

 

He gathers all his courage and begins.

“The other day, I, I shouldn't have said all this m'lady stuff. You are Arya to me, no title or name can change that. And I won't give you up.”

 

He takes her shaking hands in his.

“I wish I'd be a great lord or something like that. So that I could court you properly, but...”

“You could be my forest love and me your forest lass. Do you remember?”

 

“I do, every second of it.” Gendry smiles. “You really looked like a nice little oak tree.”

“Oh, shut up.”

 

“But seriously.” She continues. “Would you promise me again that you won't leave me and that we'll cling together no matter what comes our way?”

“I promise.”

 

Rident he seals his promise with a kiss.

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

On her last day in Winterfell Meera awakes before sunrise. She feels cold although she is covered in furs.

Bran has not spoken to her. He avoided her the same way as before.

Daily she tried to convince herself that he will come to her, that he won't let her go. Maybe she was wrong.

She tries to fall asleep again but it does not work.

“I might as well get up.” She thinks to herself.

She walks across the room in search for her clothes when abruptly she stumbles over something lying on the floor. She picks it up. It feels soft and warm. It is a bundle held together by two ribbons.

She unties it and a cloak unfolds itself.

 

She has to catch her breath. The cloak is in a dark green with a black lizard lion on the back. Its seams are embellished.

 

“No. It cannot be real. It cannot be...a wedding cloak.”

But Meera knows better.

She places the cloak around her shoulders. It fits perfectly.

 

A little note falls to the floor. She recognizes Bran's handwriting.

“I am sorry for all the troubles I have caused you. I love you, Meera, and if you still feel the same for me, meet me at the heart tree at sunrise.”

 

She is so astonished that she does not notice the knock on her door and Arya and Sansa storm into the chamber.

“Get up, Meera!” Sansa yells, almost singing the words. “Oh, you are already! And you've seen the cloak. What do you say?”

“What? I don't understand.” Meera frowns.

 

“Do you say yes?” Arya points to the note in her hand.

“Because if that is case, Arya and I will prepare you.”

“Prepare me for what?” Meera knows already but she can't believe it.

“For your wedding, of course!” Arya exclaims laughing at her.

“What? Was this all Bran's idea?” Meera asks, now beaming with joy.

 

Both of them nod.

 

Sansa takes her hand. “Now come, we have a lot to do.”

 

Right before sunrise the three women enter the godswood where Howland Reed is waiting.

“Meera, you look beautiful.”

Father and daughter link their arms and follow Arya and Sansa.

From afar she can see the heart tree. Bran is sitting in front of it on a trunk, face turned toward the tree. Jon stands beside him, quietly calming him down.

 

In the background she can see Gendry, standing next to Arya.

 

A few feet before they reach the weirwood tree they stop.

 

“Who comes? Who comes before the gods?” Bran expresses.

 

Meera looks to her father smiling affirmative.

“Meera of House Reed comes here to be wed. A woman grown and flowerd, trueborn and noble, she comes to beg the blessings of the gods. Who comes to claim her?”

“Me, Brandon of House Stark, Lord of Winterfell. I claim her. Who gives her?”

“Howland of House Reed, her father.” He turns to her and says. “Lady Meera, will you take this man?”

 

Meera is nervous but she was never more certain than in this moment. “I take this man.”

 

Her father lets go of her hand and she joins Bran's side. As she gazes into his eyes he smiles at her, all restraint and rejection gone.

Meera kneels down beside him and he takes her hands. Everybody bows their head and the next minute is spend in silence.

 

Afterwards Meera turns around and feels the cloak lifted from her shoulders. A few seconds later Bran carefully lays a gray cloak with the Stark sigil over her.

“I am so glad you came.” He whispers.

“I am glad you came to your senses.” She teases him.

 

She faces him again and her _husband_ kisses her tenderly.

 

~~~~~

 

Arya and Gendry wait a few moments at the heart tree before they follow the others back to the castle.

 

“Do you really never wish for this yourself?” Gendry asks her.

 

She spins away and says to him. “No featherbed for me. I'll wear a gown of golden leaves and bind my hair with grass. You can be my forest love...”

 

“...and you my forest lass.”

 


End file.
